beatrice amanda ong bee ai
scgs acsinternational
071091
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
edit edit today seemed horrible for some reason after assembly it just sucked. thought about too many things found out too many things. oh well at least i finished my art so now i can get started on my finals. i wanna leave. run away. to some foreign place. away from everything. away from all these stupid things. but i cant. anytime soon that is. its hard enough having to try and forget about everything, all those problems and thoughts at the back of your mind just waiting to come out and get put right. and it sucks when you dont know where your life is heading. then you dont know if the decisions you make are going to be for the better or for the worst. and its even worse when you dont know how you yourself feel about things. cuz you're so confused you dont know who to believe and what to believe. i think too much about whats going to come and the future i think i end up creating my own downfall. i dont even know how i feel sometimes and that sucks. in school at least there are people and friends that are there to distract you but when you're all alone with no one to everything comes back and you end up in square one again. ah well i've had too many mind boggling talks in school today. i'm thinking too much now. and about things i shouldnt be thinking about. not anymore. i thought i could put it away and never take it out again but it doesnt seem to be the case. people arent making it any easier either. i thought that was over. doesnt seem like it eh. what happened to keeping all the promises? well i shall try to be happy and try and look on the positive side of things for once. rather than be the pessimist i am. my rambling doesnt make sense anyway. heh okay happy happy thoughts (: oh yes i hope we can sign up for the stupid heritage run thing! haha running around singapore with sulin and li and shinny would be fun i can just imagine (: heh they never fail to brighten up your day haha (:
oh yes and did i mention i hate it when you actually study for something and you think you'll do okay but when the results come back its totally what you dont expect? that always happens to me ): nvm happy thoughts (: oh and its a pretty date today too! heh so was the 7th of july (: haha okay that was random but i like how there are so many sevens in it. i realised the next time there was a very very pretty date would be in 2077 on the 7th of july! heh well i think not having anything to do at home except study is driving me crazy. i end up posting so often again and end up rambling on and on about the most irrelevant things. i lead such a sad life dont i haha
